Nostalgic...

      It feels as though the late afternoon sun has always invited me sit quietly and enjoy the feel of the day unwinding slowly. The day is somewhat like us, it starts off strong, young, fresh and presses on through in a hurry to get things done, the day wears on like only the determined can trudging on hour after hour, and then, comes the late afternoon. When the sun sits low, it casts interesting shadows; a slight breeze can help the bugs move about in a lethargic manner. A summer afternoon has always reminded me of a gentle old woman. I can feel the strength of her resolve to finish what she has started, yet to make it    beautiful and pleasing to those who she loves. But, like all lives and days, they end. Whether the work is done or not, the night comes, there is no way that we can borrow minutes, hours, no, not even a few seconds from tomorrow.

     There is a smell that crops emit when growing, it smells like a childhood, my own really. As a child I would sit by the field behind our house and smell the small cotton plants as they came in, I delighted to see the flower blooming so delicately. Often I wondered if God sat and watched me as well, if he knew what I smelled like. I wondered if anyone saw me, saw my intentions, my emotions, and my struggles. My concept of God was skewed to say the least; I only knew Him as a bit of an absentee landlord. Some days I begged to him, some days I was angry or just plain hating him. How can I say that you ask? How can I dare call him anything but perfect? No, there is nothing special about me that would give me the right to talk about our Creator that way, I was just very alone and unguided.

     I wanted him to love me enough to protect me.

    

     I am thinking of setting my sights on bigger things with my writing, so please pray that I have the time, energy and the wind at my back to get it started.

Poor little brown kid

     Do you remember being a child? That wonderful feeling of being free, do you remember playing out in the dirt? I do. Since my 35th birthday is coming up pretty soon, I feel the need to take a trip down memory lane. I invite you to take off your shoes and walk with me...
     I grew up in the Central Valley in California, I was an immigrant child from Mexico. We arrived in Central California when I was just over four years old. My family moved to a migrant camp consisting of nine houses. Some were free standing normal looking wood house, others were made of cinder block. We also had two machinery shops that housed a work area for repairing the tractors and vehicles of the farms, or for storing extra supplies such as pesticides used for spraying the fields. We were twenty miles from the nearest town, and were surrounded by fields of tomatoes, corn, and cotton. And I loved it.
     The summer was my favorite time of the year. It was a time to race outside after finishing the daily chores, play with the other kids (most were my cousins) and just look for some trouble to get into. Whether it was sitting out in the yard sharing secrets with my female cousins, or playing hide and go seek with anyone old enough to count to twenty, we played hard. The evenings were enchanting for me as well. I never wanted to miss the first star, I was practically obsessed about it. Many times I was in trouble for eating only half of my dinner so that I could race outside to look for the star. I loved the color of a California sunset, with the dust that is kicked up from the fields, the sunset takes on amazing colors. It starts with white/yellow over the hills on the west side of the valley where the sun departs, where he finally takes his leave for the day, then...orange, followed by amazing red. All of this fades to an awe inspiring indigo...I see it in my minds eye and feel the heat left over from the day, I smell the wet dirt from the garden, I taste freedom.
     While most Americans identify home cooking as mac and cheese, I think of chewy, soft homemade corn tortillas, refried beans with Jalapenos, and fried chicken. It was not strange to eat the very animals that we fell in love with only a few months prior when they were just little chicks. Yes, we raised chickens, the kind that run around and peck at the yard, they were pets and a source of food. Not weird right?
     All of us would look for any opportunity to swim in any body of water. In our case, it was irrigation ditches and holding dams. Some were lined with cement, others, well...coming out of the ditch covered in mud was part of the fun. Don't feel sorry for us, quite the opposite, we were blessed. We could run around from morning into the night, without fear of being bothered by strangers, we all became family. We learned at an early age to explore, to look to hard work to provide for us in the future.
     There are days where I see my children sitting indoors in an apartment and worry that they will not learn the love for a handful of dirt, to appreciate a sunset or the vastness of the sky. I worry that they will not have a love and passion for seeing even poverty and want as a thing to be grateful for. Because, had I not had the childhood that I had, I don't know that I could love Gods creation as I do now. I grew up a poor little brown kid, and learned so much because of it. I am glad that I was able to grow up in a country in which I could go from a poor little brown kid, to a happy, educated (still brown) woman. Every time that I stand barefooted on dirt, I go back in time just for a second, and I feel the whisper of freedom that comes with it.

Domino Effect

     Do you ever think to yourself, "I want to write a book." or maybe "I am going to paint the next Mona Lisa." No? Well I have, several times. Now I am not talking about vainly thinking that I am going to change the art world as we know it or literary world because of my genius. Please, I recognize my limitations. By I do enjoy expressing myself though writing. painting and other crafts. But - I recognize that there is another way that I can change others view of the world. In service.
     Sure, you can say that it is easier to impact many with one famous painting, or a well written book. However, in coming to the aid of those who need help whether large or small, you can have a domino effect on many lives. Have you seen the commercial for insurance (I don't remember which company) where someone does something good for someone, then they turn around and do the same for someone else? Often time we think that our day to day lives impact only our immediate family, but your actions (or lack thereof) affect your children, your children's children, your friends, their children, neighbors...really, countless people. We can affect the world one kind action at a time.
     This week while doing some work on my assignments for class, I ran across Matt 25:35 that says, " for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;" and it got me to thinking...when was the last time that I looked for the opportunity to feed someone less fortunate than I? When have I looked to easy someones suffering? Or their thirst? I have to admit that I had to hang my head in shame. For I look to help those that I already love, that I am already comfortable with. And I want to step outside of my comfort zone. It is time to flex my love muscle. So I have a couple of ideas for how I, we, can do this.
     You see, I am sitting in my living room of our small apartment, with a crocheted blanket on my lap (made by a loved one) and I feel warm and cozy. It is 34 degrees outside and somewhere out there there are people who are cold and they have no way to come in out of the cold, whether it be because of mental illness or just a tough time, they are still a soul that needs help. So I would like to start making blankets and beanies to help out. If this is something your are interesting in helping with or you are familiar with a similar program, please email me at mrs.feerocha@gmail.com. (this however is something that I think will be set aside until next fall)
     Another idea that I had was to make little hats for preemies and baby blankets for still born children. Recently in our family I saw first hand the impact that those little blanket make for those in so much pain. If you would like to help (or donate yarn), or have a hospital in particular that could benefit from these little gifts, please email me.
     I am challenging you tonight to search your talents, your resources, your hearts for that little something that you can contribute to our world that will affect those around you, and those not so close. For when you reach out to serve someone else, you serve Him. Lets serve together.

Did ya miss me?

     Okay, here's the deal...I have been MIA from my blog because, well, I relocated. I am not tell you where, in case that you are a weird stalker or something. But for the rest of you, it's Colorado. Yeah, I know...there is snow here, lots of it. Some people, and I won't say who (David, Caleb, Valerie) told me that it might snow and then it melt by the afternoon. Alright...you LIED. It has snowed here. A lot. My dog even has questioned me on why I brought him here (when he is not busy having 'accidents' on my indoor plants to avoid having to go stand out in the snow like a real dog going potty.)
     So anyhow, here I am starting out a new chapter of my life enjoying meeting new people and new experiences. I will tell you one experience that I have not enjoyed; driving on ice. Who thought of driving a two wheel drive Toyota to Colorado in low profile (not gangsta) tires? Let me tell you that choosing a Camry was not made with the idea of Wyoming in January in mind.
     Another thing that I was unprepared for is moving into an apartment where I have to take my dog out to do his business 15 times a day. Back in Manteca, I would open the back door and tell him to go outside and handle his biz...oh to have a backyard of my own again. But no, I choose an upstairs apartment. Also, who knew that a Min Pin would be in danger of being eaten by wild animals??? There was a coyote in the parking lot today at lunchtime! What if I would have been walking my dog? AHHHHhhhhh....
    So that I don't sound like a downer, I will tell you about some of the great things that have happened since I moved here. I have started taking classes that are enriching my life as a parent and as a Christian. I am learning to shop on a budget (try it America- you might surprise yourself!) I have met wonderful people and allowed myself to be me (sorry Dustin). I have also started homeschooling my kids. (I know, many hate this concept, but it is a valid and wonderful way to educate our kids). I have enjoyed teaching my kids and watching them grow into new understanding of things...all while getting love, hugs and kisses whenever, for no reason at all.
     As you see, this is a mixed bag move for us - but a great experience nonetheless. I would not trade all of this for anything (except maybe a dog walker). My family has become stronger, our faith in our love for each other and God has multiplied...how blessed are we to be here? As I sit here in this cozy apartment, I see our home. Sure it will never be a picture perfect example of a model home, but it feels like home to me. I see my kids drawings on the coffee table, the necktie my husband left on the chair, and the dog that has to go potty (again). It is a home filled with love.
     Somethings I do have to share with you though, a few things I learned on our journey...Don't ever make snowballs around apartment buildings that allows pets (yellow snow and 'pebbles' are always present), drive slowly so that everyone around you sees your licence plate and yells at you to go home to California where you can learn to drive, and finally train your dog to use the toilet. Just saying...otherwise you are the slave, and they, my friend, are the MASTER.